the battle.

I've always been honest with you blog readers so I'll just be upfront with this one...

I haven't felt like writing lately because I've just been emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually drained and defeated. When I decided to start writing, I made the decision to always be honest and uplifting with my words. Which sometimes means just not writing at all, so as to not compromise that decision.

In my last blog, I had set out to search the Bible and discover what it truly means to submit to my husband and be respectful to him. I wanted to be on top of my game and make sure I was being a Godly wife. But I didn't see what was about to come.

Weston has been working every single day for over 3 weeks. In just a few days, it will be one month. And when I say working, I don't mean an 8:00-5:00 job. He has been leaving the house at 5:00a.m. a lot of days, and not returning until late at night, on the days that he even gets to come home at all. And he hasn't even gotten weekends off, he has been going non-stop. Needless to say I haven't seen him much.

One of Weston's clients bought a new plane so Weston was going to Dallas for a few days to get some specialized schooling on the plane. Since he would just be in classes in the morning and part of the afternoon, Leeland and I got to come along to spend time with him in the evenings. I was super excited to finally get to spend some time with him, especially since I was going to be so Godly, submissive, and respectful...right? (oh boy...was I wrong!)

You see, quite the opposite happened. I was super emotional and taking everything personally. Leeland wasn't handling the hotel well. He wasn't sleeping which brought on lots of crying which can make people quite edgy after a while. For the first day or so, it seemed all Weston and I did was fight. And I was mostly to blame for it.

So finally, one morning after dropping Weston off at school, I spent some quiet time in the hotel room. I got Leeland occupied for a moment and I just sat down to pray. After spending some time with the Lord, I realized my biggest mistake- I had neglected something very powerful- spiritual warfare.

Our family had not been able to spend much time together and when we finally were together, Satan was really attacking that time. I firmly believe that Satan's biggest targets are families and marriages. Family is really at the core of our society and if he can destroy the family, he can do so much more damage in other areas.

The Bible talks about this spiritual warfare in Ephesians, and to me, these verses are so familiar that I usually just skip over them. But today, I took time to stop and read them again, fresh and new, as if I had never read these words before:

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

Ephesians 6:10-12

We must be on the defensive. I'm never going to be able to be a Godly wife unless I am aware and active in the spiritual battle going on around me. It is an attitude, a mindset. I need the full armor- truth, righteousness, readiness, faith, salvation, the Word of God, and prayer. If I'm not daily spending time in truth and prayer, I'll never be able to fight the battle.

So that's why I haven't been blogging. I'm in the middle of a war.