This morning, I started the chapter on possessions. And I read this:
"About three times a year, I rant around the house, screaming at our stuff: "What is all this? How did this get here? Why do we have so much junk? How am I supposed to keep up with all this? Where did this all come from?" And then I remember:I bought it all.I suppose acting like someone snuck into my house while I was feeding the homeless and filled my shelves with more black shirts and a fourth set of Legos against my will is probably ignoble. To hear me fuss, you'd think I was a victim of drive-by consumerism. Guess what, doves?I'm a part of this little game."Wow. I just had to chuckle a little as I read these paragraphs because THAT IS ME! I can so relate. Almost every day I get annoyed at our STUFF! Except I can't completely relate to Jen because I actually am a victim of drive-by consumerism..... [ahem...or I'm in denial.]
It's one of those truths that is so blaringly obvious that I completely look it over. I am on this great quest for simplicity. I am fighting this great war on stuff. And on events. And sometimes I even think it's on other people. But really, the war is on...me.
You know you can't really fight a war until you know who the enemy is. I am reminded of that story in the Bible (and I can't currently remember where it is in the Bible...) when God's people were about to fight this great big fight against a bigger and better army and God told them to just sing praises to Him. So they did. And the other army got so confused that they started fighting each other and every single one of them ended up dead!
I think I'm that other army. If my intent isn't focused on the right target, the ultimate goal will never be achieved, and I will actually only end in total and complete defeat.
I'm planning on (and in the process of) getting rid of a lot of things in my house. But guess what? I keep buying more. I have been learning how to say "no," and learning to prioritize my time, but then I think, "Well since I'm not doing this any more, I have time to do THIS!" I'm missing the point. I've created a vicious cycle that I must get out of.
The problem is not my "stuff," whatever that may be. The problem is me!