Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Lessons from Leeland

I love rocking Leeland to sleep at night. It is my favorite time of day because it is the one time that Leeland is actually still enough to cuddle with.

I am a cuddler. Leeland is not. He is a mover. When he is awake, there is not one moment that he is still, and I am not exaggerating. He always has to be going and doing. I thought that was normal until I talked to the ladies that keep him while I work out at the gym. When I pick him up, I get a plethora of comments like:
"Is he always this active at home?"
"We call him Sir Jumps-a-lot!"
"He is gonna be SMART! He is always into things and checking things out."
"Is he ever still?"

Every time I rock him to sleep, I just want to keep him in my arms forever! He is so precious. But I always have to put him down- the time that he is sleeping is the only time I can get things done or get some sleep myself!

Leeland is a great sleeper. For a few months now he has slept all through the night without waking up at all. But teething got the best of him last night and he was screaming at midnight. I was extremely tired that night and had been sleeping hard. I did NOT want to get up. I got Weston up and he held him for about 2 minutes but then he passed him to me and went back to bed. I fed Leeland but that wasn't enough. He was in pain and the only thing that comforted him was cuddling with me. Yes! He was actually AWAKE and was STILL and CUDDLING with me!!

I just wanted to go back to sleep so I was a little annoyed- at Leeland AND at Weston. But in my frustration, I took my thoughts captive and decided not to let those negative thoughts grow. I decided to savor every moment that my sweet son was cuddling with me, even if it was 12:30.

Leeland laid his head on my chest and wrapped his sweet little arms around my arm. We both took a deep breath, and relaxed.

I was reminded of some lyrics to a worship song:
"I wanna sit at your feet, drink from the cup in your hands,
lay back against you and breath, feel your heartbeat."

I love that song and every time I sing it, I get a very vivid picture in my mind. I knew what that looked like but for the first time, I knew what that felt like.

My sweet son,
laying his head against my chest,
listening to my heart beat.
His breathing slowed,
his crying stopped,
his pain was eased,
he relaxed,
and eventually drifted off to sleep.

You see, normally he is too busy to do this, but for this one moment, he sank into the arms of the one that loved him so deeply, and he found rest.

I wondered to myself, "Am I too busy to stop and sink into the arms of Jesus, the One that loves me so deeply?"

He is always there. His arms wide open. Waiting and wanting for us to take a moment to be with Him. If we take the time to dwell with the Lord, lay our head against His chest, and listen to His heartbeat, our breathing might slow, our life might slow down, our pain eased. We can find rest in Him, the One that holds the world in His hands.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
Matthew 11:28-29


  1. I like reading your thoughts and how you're learning and growing through "mommy-hood". I laugh and nod when I read your blog posts because I feel I'm learning a lot of these same lessons with Karis (and it sounds like her and your son's personalities are quite similar. I often call Karis my little mover and shaker). I also had a rough night like this the other night with Karis because of teething and thought similarly...remembering I'm so blessed to be a mama and to enjoy that sweet moment of rocking her back to sleep; as I held her she also calmed...I like that He teaches us through these moments. Thank you for writing about it!

  2. thank you for this.

    nobody makes me want to be a momma more than you!