No one has come up to me and told me I was rude, or that I hurt their feelings or got on their nerves. But at the end of the day, I just feel like I've been annoying, obnoxious, and rude to those I come in contact with.
I deleted that blog. It seemed awfully whiney and I knew all that read it would comment and say "Oh no! You are so sweet! You're not the bad guy." That wasn't what I was going for.
I had my Bible in front of me, but didn't know where to turn. I thought about privately journaling about it but knew it wouldn't get me anywhere. As a last resort, just looking for something to fill my mind, I went to proverbs31.org to read the daily devotional.
The devotional today was about believing truth instead of believing the lies and thoughts that fill our minds that are not from God. Go here if you'd like to read the whole devotional. It's good.
In the end, I realized two things:
1. I need to place my self worth in the TRUTH that God speaks over me. I need to stop giving in to the lies. Maybe I have been obnoxious and rude lately. Or maybe the enemy is just trying to get me to believe these lies so I think less of myself and shy away from people.
2. I need to spend more time with the Lord in His Word. If I was really walking with Him daily and letting His spirit guide me, there would be no question about my actions. I would be showing love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Do you ever feel that way? Let's live in truth together.
"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32