Monday, February 28, 2011

created to be

I grew up my whole life thinking I was going to do something AWESOME. You know, have some really cool job, with lots of power, where I would get to wear high heels all the time, and drink lots of coffee. My mom stayed at home with my brother and I when we were younger but then she went back to work so in my mind, moms always worked.

I remember learning about PR (public relations) in 4th grade and I thought "PR" sounded pretty cool so I decided then that I wanted to work in PR.

When I was a senior and started getting information about colleges, I changed my mind almost every week. I would get calls from schools, "So, I see you're interested in majoring in Theatre?" and I would think to myself, "What? When was I going to major in Theatre?...Oh yeah...."

I love George Bush so when he was running for president, I became interested in politics. That mixed with a history teacher in high school that was very influential on my life, and a trip to Bush's Inauguration my senior year got me thinking I would work in politics. I wanted to move to DC.

During Orientation week my freshman year of college, I had no idea what I was going to do so I went to the department meeting for "Mass Communication" because I thought it sounded cool, you know like the PR thing. I looked at what all you could do with a Mass Comm degree, looked at all the classes you had to take and decided that was the major for me! I ended up loving it! Good choice, Meagan.

Somewhere along the way, I decided I was going to work in the Christian music industry in Nashville. And that wasn't just a crazy whim, I don't think. All through college when someone asked me what I was going to do, my response was, "I'm going to graduate college, move to Nashville, work at Starbucks for a few years, then get a job in the Christian music industry." I even went to Nashville for CMA Music Week and volunteered there. I thought I was one step closer to my dream.

It's funny because Weston always wanted me to be a stay-at-home mom and I always told him that wasn't for me.

But God had different plans for me. I am so glad He is in control!

The economy tanked right when I graduated college and when I checked on the status of things in Nashville, companies were not hiring, in fact there were a lot of layoffs. So, we decided a move to Nashville probably wasn't the smartest choice for us. In a crazy happening of events, I got the job as the Director of Student Activities at ETBU! (What?? I never saw that coming.)

My job at ETBU was really a great experience. I learned SO much and honed a lot of useful skills. I realized that I was capable of doing far more than I ever imagined! (Only through the strength of the Lord) I also had business cards, a really cool golden nametag, and wore high heels a lot. But this job was SO stressful. I am a people pleaser and there was A LOT of pressure on me all the time. This weighed heavily on me and my job consumed my life. I thought about quitting several times but always pushed through.

After working for 2 years, I told Weston I had changed my mind, I did not want to be a working woman! Weston's response: "Good thing we didn't move to Nashville just for you to discover that you hate working!" (Ha!) At a very low point when I was about to give up, in a message to a friend (Shout out to Bethany Roszhart!) I remember saying, "I just wanna get pregnant or something so I have an excuse to quit working!" We weren't actually really trying to get pregnant at this point (although I had quit birth control and it was in our plans soon) but 2 months later, we found out we were pregnant! I now had hope because I only had to work for 9 more months :)

Since having Leeland 6 months ago, my life has been quite the journey of not only adjusting to being a mom, but adjusting to this new lifestyle of being a stay-at-home mom. And let me tell you something that I have discovered:
This is what I was created to do!!

I was never a kid person. Before Leeland, I could not tell you the last time I had held a baby or changed a diaper. I wasn't quite sure how all of this was going to go down. But I guess my "mothering instinct" kicked in when I had Leeland and all of this has been so fun!

Not only have I adjusted to being a mom, but I've come to enjoy the whole "housewife" thing. I've developed a system and now I'm pretty good at keeping my house clean, keeping the laundry done, cooking meals, and all of that jazz. And that is a big step for me because I did not enjoy any of that before.

Leeland and I have such a fun time at home. Some days are hard. Sometimes Leeland cries all day. Sometimes I don't get everything (or anything) done. But even in those days, I am so thankful for the opportunity to be there with Leeland.

So maybe I don't have a cool sounding job title or business cards. And maybe I don't wear high heels every day, or any day for that matter... But it's ok. Because I'm doing what the Lord created me to do. And there is such sweet peace in that!


  1. Such a great blessing to be able to be home with your little man and take care of your household! Treasure that blessing!

  2. Meagan!! Such a great blog post!! Thank you for the shout out!! I miss you!!

  3. Basically these are all things I think/dream/wrestle with and you just voiced each of them like it's nothing! YOU are amazing!

  4. This morning, the Lord reminded me of this blog post. I remember reading it months ago and I remember being able to relate to what you had written. I feel a deep struggle in my heart. Part of me really wants a career and to be a successful woman in the workforce. But you know what? There is another part of me the is praying that Jon and I will get pregnant, so that maybe I could quit my job. I've been wrestling with several things the last few months and this was just the encouragement I needed. Keep blogging, because the Lord is using you to minister to my heart!