the grocery store experience

I went to Wal-Mart on a Sunday afternoon. Here lately, I have not enjoyed grocery shopping. We have this new budget and along with the budget, a new rule that says we have to keep a running total of what we're buying while we're shopping to ensure that we do not go over our allotted amount of grocery money. You pick up an item, put it in the basket (or cart as Weston calls it...big debate...) and then enter it in the calculator. It doesn't sound that bad until you actually have to experience it. Because you see, people around you are not patient. They want you to grab your item and go, get out of their way. It's like the biggest inconvenience in the world that you actually take 2 seconds to enter something in a calculator before moving along. It makes me anxious. People stare. Why can't we all just be a little more kind and patient? :)

But that wasn't the most awkward part of my Wal-Mart experience. I get in line after an exhausting hour of shopping and I am pretty defeated. Not really feeling friendly and talkative. The guy in line in front of me is probably one of the most friendly and talkative guys ever, but luckily he is talking to the cashier, not me :) So he tells her all about his family and his daughter that had cancer and how she wasn't supposed to survive but she did and her hair grew back beautifully and she is living proof that there is a God, you know all that fun sentimental stuff. I just listened quietly and sort of smiled to myself. Nice man. He pays for his groceries and leaves.

Then it's my turn. I notice the cashier's eyes are sort of watering when she begans to scan my items and then she stops, I look closer, and notice that she is crying. A lot. Umm... What do I do?

I just give her a sort of sympathetic smile... She can't even talk at the moment because she is crying so much. All she can get out is, "That man..." and "He could have talked about anything..."

I still don't know what to do. All that is running through my mind is this conflict management stuff we learned at a conference last week. When someone is crying you give them the FSS- Friendly Silent Stare. So, that's what I do. I was sort of waffling in my head, "You do the FSS when you're in conflict with someone and they're crying, but is that what you do when a stranger is checking out your groceries and crying??" But I went with it anyways. She apologizes and I told her not to worry about it and to just take her time.

She eventually says, "He could have talked about anything but he had to talk about cancer!" I thought about asking her about it but didn't want to make her cry a lot again so I decided to go with the FSS again. We eventually get through all of my groceries and on my way out I tell her to have a great day. She says, "As long as that man doesn't come back with more sad stories!!"

That.was.so.awkward.

Sacrifice

"If we are not feeling the pinch of sacrifice, then we could be doing more."

This is the current quote on my dry erase board in my office. I used to update my quotes once a week but then I accidently left one up for an entire semester. I recently changed it and I don't know how I feel about this quote. It makes me a little uncomfortable, which is probably a good thing...but I still don't like it.

I feel like I'm always going and doing something ALL the time and I'm always looking to do less, or get a little time for myself. The problem is, do I feel like I'm sacrificing? Am I sacrificing even if I don't feel like it? I guess that is where the issue lies. Sacrifice.

Being intentional has been on my mind a lot lately. I can do stuff but if I'm not intentionally investing in people, what is it all for? nothing.

My life is still in a transition process and some big changes are coming soon. Once August rolls around, I will no longer be working. (I'll admit, I'm a little excited about that..) I'll only get a few weeks off before I begin the full-time job of "Mom." That is unless Leeland decides to come early and doesn't give me any time off at all! We'll see...

I think this time in my life will be a time that I will have to be more intentional than ever. The majority of my time will be spent at home, taking care of things and providing for my husband and my son. But how will I be impacting the Kingdom? How will I be reaching out in my community? I am confident that God will bring me opportunities and use me in ways I could never imagine. I'm excited about this new stage in life. Bring it on!

I know I've been gone from this little blog world for a while. I'm not going to promise that I'll update more often but do know that I'm certainly going to try!

Blessed.

We are at such an exciting time in our life. Two big milestones:
Buying a house.
Having a baby.

[What? I'm having a BABY?? Yes, even when I think about it every second of every day, even when I throw up every morning, even when I can't sleep all night- thank you pregnancy insomnia, even when I can't fit into my clothes... I still can't believe it sometimes.]

God has truly blessed Weston and me. I can sit and cry and whine about my troubles, which I do sometimes, but wow, we are blessed.

What a blessing it is to be pregnant! Please do not mistake me, I don't feel like that all the time. I am not to the point yet where I am saying, "I LOVE being pregnant!" But I've just recently been realizing that a baby is such a precious gift that God CHOSE to bless us with. God CHOSE to create a little Weston and Meagan combo. All of this is happening on HIS timeline. As much as I'd like to think I have control over decisions and situations, I'm slowly remembering that HE sees the big picture and HE is up there smiling, watching as I travel along this journey.

What a blessing it is to be able to buy a house! Yes, it is scary and stressful and we won't be able to afford that perfect, quaint little house we found last weekend. But we will be purchasing a home for our little family. Which is far more than a lot of people in this world can say. I do not want to take anything for granted.

It is scary taking these leaps of faith. Houses are expensive. Babies are expensive. And in the middle of all of this, come September we're going off of just one income?? Is that even possible?? And the Lord says, "Yes, Meagan. It is."

Prego Meago

My worst nightmare came true:
I'm a terrible blogger.

I'm pregnant.
For a while, that was my excuse for not blogging. I couldn't share the news on the world wide web yet but that was ALL I wanted to talk about. And then when I could, I didn't know where to start, so I didn't.

So, for now I suppose I'll share the basics on the subject:
I'm 11 weeks along.
My baby is the size of a large plum.
In one week, we get to hear the heartbeat.
My due date is August 21, 2010.
We should find out the sex in March, I think.
I got real sick for a while but that is starting to go away, thank You Jesus.
As I track the days and weeks, time seems to be creeping by so slowly.
We are VERY excited.

In other news, we're looking for a house. This will be a very interesting time in our life because Weston and I have very differing opinions on things like houses. Our lease on our duplex is up at the end of February and after that we have to pay $100 extra a month. That is WAY more money than I want to pay for this place so I'm feeling a bit of pressure. I don't think Weston's in a hurry at all. We've only just begun this process and I already feel hopeless. We shall see where this leads.

I feel like God is trying to teach me something during this season of my life but I can't quite grasp it. I know that the solution to this is to daily spend time with Him but I am at a loss for motivation. I find myself being jealous of my friends that do daily spend time with Him- that is radiated through their lives. I know that all it will take is discipline. I'm looking for that. I'm searching for the motivation to not be brought down by the simple day to day tasks of this life, but to live for Something More. We shall see where this leads as well.

FREEZE!

Something I dread every morning in the winter:
Opening my closet to pick out my clothes.

Explanation:
I HATE being cold. So it's always the worst when I get out of my nice warm bed. Then I go take a warm shower and warm up the bathroom but then I have to go back to the bedroom to get dressed- the bedroom where my husband is still sleeping with TWO fans blasting. So I get a little chilled just walking in, but here's the worst part- with the closet door closed all night, it doesn't get the warm air from the heater (no vent in the closet of course) so the cold air outside makes it nice and FREEZING. I'm sure it's just barely warmer than the temp outside. Every time, I quickly open the door, pick out something really fast, close the door, and run back to the warm bathroom. That might explain some of my outfits some days. It's not that I don't have any fashion sense, I was just soooooooo cold!!!

Christmas has officially begun...

Oh man, sorry I'm such a bad blogger! Back in the Xanga days, I was a blogging beast! Everyday I would be writing a Xanga post in my head. I would look for little adventures to turn into great stories in a blog. However, now my life is very ho-hum and it's just a little harder to do that. I'm gonna work on that though!

Weston and I had our own special family Christmas tonight since we'll be out of town until the 27th. We went to El Sombrero (of course! our FAVORITE!) then drove around Longview and looked at Christmas lights and HUGE houses. Then we came home, exchanged gifts, and read the Christmas story. This is what we're gonna tell our kids someday "As excited as you are about your presents, you should be more excited about Jesus, so we're going to put away the toys and read the Bible." :) Think that will go over well?

Weston got me wonderful new black heels that I have desperately needed! They are SOO nice! I wish I was going to work tomorrow so I could wear them, but it's really ok that I'm not going to work. He also got me REAL PEARL EARRINGS, which I have wanted for like...forever! Goodness, he is so perfect! (And not just because he gets me great gifts!)

I got him this awesome airplane picture in a frame and this manly soap/shampoo bar. Although the soap sounds lame, he was SOO excited. It's "soap for the meat and potatoes guy." He wanted to take a shower the second he got it to try it! But he refrained.

I finished wrapping presents (which is one of my favorite things to do) and we are getting ready to head to Mount Pleasant for several days full of holiday family fun. I think we are ALL going to especially enjoy it this year.

Merry CHRISTmas!! :)

Oops...

I was REALLY wanting to do Christmas cards this year. So one evening we all (me, Weston, AND Oliver) put on our Christmas clothes and sat in front of the tree FOREVER trying to get a good picture. We finally got one and I was stoked to find a cheap card website and make our little family Christmas card.

But I made a mistake.

I was playing around with the picture and editing it and I put this soft filter on it. It kind of made everything glow and I was like, "Ohhh! THAT'S Christmas-y!!" so I instantly used it for the cards. After ordering the cards, I noticed that it kind of made the picture look blurry. Annnd we got them in the mail yesterday and they totally DO look blurry.

Sad day. I ruined our first Christmas cards. I'm still going to use them but I'm not proud of them. I think I'm going to write an apology on the back of each one. Here's the pic: